Happy Hump Day

Good Morning everyone!
(a little John Stewart/Katie Couric humor)

Thank you blog for letting me vent these feelings that I cannot express to any one person in my life for fear of offending them or changing their opinions of me for the worst. I have come to the conclusion, thanks to the influence of friendly conversations, that I should not date right now. I am busy and I should just stick to my schedule. I will only attempt in dating if an amazing opportunity comes up and the world would slap me if I missed it. I admit that every time I see a happy couple my heart beats faster and warms at the thought of someday having the same experience. But I am young and I have, hopefully, my whole life ahead of me.

Everyday I get closer to figuring out exactly how that will go, with graduation in view and college topic being thrown into every conversation at every possible chance (kill me). At least I have my mom who understands, more than any other adult I know, how much pressure teenagers have these days with college.

As for friends and being sad about leaving them behind, I am much more at ease with this because there is only one person who I fear losing and that is Erik because he is leaving me first and he is older. The others I have friended in high school I will miss their presence as I always do but I am used to them coming and going so it will feel the same when we all part. I hope that I see them again later in life but I wish them happiness and success no matter what happens. I am prepared to lose people because I have been losing people my whole life. I have learned to let go even if it takes time to heal the wounds they've left in my heart.

I have replaced friends with books and knowledge as I do. I am currently reading Pride & Prejudice and I love it! I borrowed it from a girl in my english class. I also have borrowed four other books from my friend Katie: Go Ask Alice, Five Quarters of the Orange, Water For Elephants, and Infidelities; Stories of War and Lust. And of course as I start reading for pleasure I am told by my english teacher that I am about to be assigned another novel next week. I forget what it is. Right now our current assignment is to annotate T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland and the online author's notes are very interesting.

Au Revoir!