My close family, that is my parents and brothers, has never been the typical family you'd see as the American staple for an Old Navy commercial. We're more the indie movie type family. Real and broken. We have flaws and we get along, but never look like we do.
I have my first show tomorrow for the first time since May. I am excited but also very nervous. I am showcasing my senior choreography for the first time and last. This morning while I was at my SAT testing my grandmother called to say that she couldn't come because she was sick. I am thoroughly upset because she hasn't seen me dance in years. I want to be mad but what can she do? She's just sick and I can only hope she doesn't get deathly ill. She's 69 years old and one of my favorite people in the world. It meant a lot to me that she was coming to see me dance. I am about to cry, that's how upset I am.
Now Erik can't come. And my mom didn't seem like she wanted to come in the first place. Now she is the only one left and I'm sure she will try to get out of it even though she may just me guilted into coming when I tell her she is the only one. I'm trying to remind myself that I am doing this for myself and I have to do this because it is what I love to do. As much as it hurts to sit here and know that no one, that matters to me, is going to see me dance tomorrow.
Also I went on, well I guess you could call it, a date tonight with a guy I used to work with at Ocean Breeze. I was worried he wanted it to be a date in the first place and I didn't want it to be because I had never really thought about him like that because he isn't taller than me. Plus he dated another girl I knew from work for a while. But he is very family oriented and I wish we were older because his goals are oriented around a great home and career. So I may be attracted to him after all.. He definitely wants to hangout again.
p.s.
Sushi with Erik is fun.
and Feist is a great band to check out.
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