Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Holidays

I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving. I'll be making pumpkin pie and squash casserole. Going to the Uncle's house with all the family and having a great time feasting..

All sounds good, right? It does. It also doesn't.

Abe came with me during the holidays last year. I stayed with him when I came home from school and we went together to my G-G's house. I can feel his absence even more now. I thought cutting out all contact with him would help me get past this. It just really hurts when you love someone and care about them and they change their mind. Someone came in with his sweatshirt on at work yesterday and everything about that sweatshirt from where he bought it to helping him pick it out.. all came back. how warm it is and how much he loved it.. I sound obsessive but i mean when you love someone these are the little things you remember..

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Don't let it go away. this feeling has got to stay.

Greer "friended" me on Facebook. I was wary. I messaged her to make sure it wasn't a joke. then proceeded to approve. But now I am even more suspicious about her motives. I don't trust her. I'll just have to see what happens in the future. I do miss her and wish she had been there for me when I needed her the most these past few months..

So I've been listening to No Doubt's greatest hits CD in my car since.. maybe its a subconscious nostalgic move? We did go to the No Doubt concert back in May.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The storm has passed.

yay it was sunny and 70 today. perfect weather. it will be cold again soon i know it..
So work just sucks so much lately. I have an interview for an insurance sales position and i really hope i like it because i am so over Panera and I just want a new job. one that makes enough money and that gives me a steady schedule and good benefits. I want to be able to support myself as much as i can. wish me luck*
plus so i mentioned how I cut off all contact with Abe.. well now my ex-best friend wants to be my friend again. i granted the request BUT i still am very wary. I don't trust her. I would like to be proven wrong. we'll see where things go from here but i'm very shocked by her even trying to be my friend. one of our mutual friends said it would happen and i thought FAT CHANCE. part of me thinks this is all a bad idea. that i should of kept the severed contact.

but hey, my new motto is to go with the flow and let life happen to me.. so here we go.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


these are the pies I baked the first time. I've baked two more and pumpkin bread/muffins since.
This storm is the reason I have a day off but it sucks because I can't go anywhere. I can't go to the gym. I can't go shopping. I can't go hangout with friends. I can't leave my freakin neighborhood because it's flooded!

I did some homework.. now i want to not do homework. I guess I will eat, read, and watch tv or movies.. unless i can find something better to do stuck at home. I hope it clears up so I can go hangout later tonight maybe?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The end

So I cut off all contact from Abe sunday night. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I had to do it. I can't go on having him text me and say things to me getting my hopes up. I will never recover from this or move on unless I do this. No online contact and no phone contact. I was sad afterwards but what can I do? nothing. As much as I thought it was meant to be.. maybe everyone is right; there's someone else for me out there who will treat me as good and better.

I need to get back into the swing of my old routine. Working out in the morning instead of sleeping in. Getting school work done right away instead of putting it off. Eating well instead of eating too much and badly. I want a day off. I can't wait to move next month. I can't wait to go to California in January. EEE!!!!