Wow.

Today was the first day this summer where all I did was sit at home ALL DAY LONG.
Seriously, what is wrong??

I couldn't get to sleep last night.. possibly because I woke up crying from a bad dream that morning about a guy I know.. It seemed so real.. In the dream he died of cancer. I've been trying to see this guy. He already had to ditch me once and now seems it's just not working out. I was suprised that I woke up crying as if it was real. It felt so real. Dreams like that are scary. It's fun to try and analyze dreams though. Although I don't always remember mine.

But really.. I've been doing so good about getting out of the house and doing things, with friends mostly too. All of the sudden people are busy or I can't do what I wanted to because of limits such as money, weather, gas, or simply lost at an idea of what to do.. It's been a good week or so of summer so far.. as much as it's felt like a lifetime.. Now I'm in limbo it feels like.. I don't have any plans till this weekend.. and I won't get to see Bailey ASAP after she's done with her family obligations, drat just thought of that.

Yep this weekend I'm working for the Spectrum Puppets at Town Point Park for the Bayou Bugaloo Festival with Thomas, Annabel, and Ali. Then next weekend I'm doing my lifeguard training for Ocean Breeze then I'll finally start working.. so I won't have much money yet.. I have car insurance and gas to pay and my lifeguard training is over $100 plus the uniform.. and I have shows for friends to attend, if I get the money.. Hmm I really hate that money controls us. I try not to let it "control" me but sometimes I feel it does.