Today:

Life is surreal.

I never thought I'd be so scared to even make a move for fear that I would get rejected.
I never thought I would choosing the option of not going to college or be scared to ask my mom if I could go to college.
I never thought I would be able to tell my entire life story to someone I barely know so easily..


All I know is that I'm screwed over in senior choreography and I'm mad at my friends for it.. or should I say "friends"?
I'm scared and I'm afraid to make any choices for fear that it will be a huge mistake and that I'm going to make the biggest fool of myself.
I'm so scared and I don't want to go through any of this. I want to just stay home and read a book or dream of other things. I just feel like for the first time I don't know what I am doing or who I am because I don't have a plan. It's scaring me shitless. And I feel like I have no support or anyone to talk to because I just feel like no one cares about me.. Everyone is so self-involved and no one cares to return any of the favors I have given..

I hate this feeling.