So Ashton comes home from Cali today. And last night Ryan told me that he is probably moving to Cali for a job opening as a manager at the store there. It's like my exes are trading places..
I miss talking with Jeff. I wish he would stop ignoring my phone calls.
I am not really happy with friends, school, dance, or my job right now. All I want is a date to distract me or my friends to change back to who they were.
That is all.
oh P.S. I just looked at an e-mail from my dad and started to tear up.. that's never happened. The other day My dept chair at GSA and Nikolai and I were talking about family ad suddenly I found myself being asked about my relationship with my father and I realized I don't have one and how I never talk about him or think about him anymore unless my mom brings him up.. I really hate that I don't have a relationship or know what to do about the lack of the latter.. I am basically on hold with that right now until his mom dies.. which no one knows how long that is going to take.. I hope I don't have to go to a funeral any time soon.. because I don't want to deal with it either.. the circle never ends.
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