All these things keep rushing..

Lately when I get bored and my hands are idle I start folding small pieces of paper into paper airplanes. I thought about why I do this the other day and came to the conclusion that its a subconscious of my inner child. I used to make paper airplanes as a kid with my dad and brothers. We would spend hours every day folding paper like origami and one day we just decided to try to make the best airplane. I don't know how to make a very good one. i just keep making the same one every one else was taught to make when we were in school.

So I want to get back into photography. I used to love it so much. I remember wanting a SLR Nikon back in 9th grade and it cost $1000 but now it costs about $500 so I'm thinking of getting one. Although I don't have that much money to spend because I'm saving my money for moving out. I used to take pictures of everything all the time; my surroundings, my friends, my family, the sky, myself. Ever since my life was turned upside down in July I haven't been myself. I have barely touched my camera. I just started using it again and while taking art history in school, I'm really starting to fall in love with it again. I am so in love with the world around me. I'm as curious as a cat. I am fascinated by compositions and colors. Cory has offered to set me up with a photographer he knows so that maybe he can teach me some things about photographing professionally. But I don't really know if that is going to happen.

I would love to do photography professionally but we all know that "art is hard" and you don't make much money from it. Thats why I'm doing Accounting because I want to be able to support myself and my mom one day. I would love to not have to worry about money so much in my future. If I did photography as a hobby it would never become a "job" or a "chore" or something I have to work hard at to make my living. i can hate my job as much as I want as long as I don't end up hating something i love.. kinda why I left dance as a career choice. I do miss dancing too. But you can't have everything in life. I'm learning that recently- I've grown up quite a lot in the past year. I can't believe 2009 is almost over too. I feel like I blinked and it flew by.. Is that how time feels when you get older? Does it just fly by within a blink of an

eye? I want to enjoy my life. Thats why I've learned from my recent past experiences not to rush things.. I'm enjoying every moment and letting things come & go as they should.