Lately I've been feeling down.. I feel like my teachers are disappointed in me.. I hate the wrath of Todd. I feel like I'm letting people down more and more everyday for trying to be myself. I feel the pressure from every angle to be something I'm not. I'm sorry that I smoke and don't give a shit because we're all going to die some day.. I'm sorry I'm not one of your best friends or one of your favorite dancers.. I'm sorry I'm not blind to all the negative in my life holding me back from smiling 24/7 and being optimistic about my future.. I'm sorry I suck at hanging out and can't entertain you because I'm extremely nervous and always think people are out to get me or dislike me off the bat.. I'm sorry that you do hate me for no reason.. I'm sorry that I sound mean when I really don't mean to .. I'm tired of not being good enough to be one of your "top" friends, ever. I wish I could just never see my dad again for the rest of my life.. but it's not that easy when I live with people who are willing to be in his presence even if they despise him as well.. they don't believe in the same things as me and it's the reason why i can't wait to live my own life without them
le sigh.
I'll just stick to books instead of friends.
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1 comment:
Sounds as if you are having a tough day. I understand the part about the books; I've found that books never turn on me.
Hang in there. And don't do anything drastic.
Life is likely to throw you curves now and again; just live through it...
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