Good Luck!

It's late and I know I should be asleep.. but I have had trouble sleeping this week. I'm so tense. I'm starting to fear the future even with my body reacting..
It's been so peaceful and quiet and now it's all the sudden becoming sad and sentimental. I'm realizing and going to realize in the next couple weeks who has left a handprint on my heart and who I will miss dearly. People I've met at Governor's School and even Kellam, that I will genuinely miss.
I could cry writing this but I won't be that lame. I almost said lousy.. haha Catcher in the Rye has some neat vocabulary. I didn't absolutely love that book like some swear by, however i could definitely relate. I know what it feels like to not know what to do or where to go and question everything and everyone. I feel that way now. It's crazy. I can see why stream of consciousness is so effective in this situation. I want to do so much but I am afraid to take the risk.. My motto has been to do what you want and not to let people tell you how or what to do.. Another motto I've always had is to face your fears and scare the shit out of yourself.. the best decisions you make are the risks. They can make you or break you..
I'm at crossroads in my life. I've tried to become a better person and rid things/people I do not need. I'm deciding what to do with my future; college and careers. I'm aiming for new goals ones I have never tried to achieve before. I'm delving into the unknown. I'm exploring the infinite abyss...