I would find myself trying hard to laugh and enjoy myself even though the booze was doing it anyways. I caught myself staring at him, wanting to embrace him and give him a really great kiss in front of all his friends. I wanted to take him outside and talk to him about it all. talk about it so I wouldn't feel so ignored. Instead I just sat there fighting blame against reason in my head trying to make out some sort of thought that would ease my mind so I could let my heart heal. I'm left here in shock and hurt again for the second time in month. I always think "this one's different" and that maybe i'll actually get to date guy who I think is really amazing.. but it never happens with those guys. I told him almost everything bout myself and he acts as if we just made out few times and it was nothing special at all. And people wonder why it is so hard for me to trust people...
He locked the door and dragged me around on the bumper.
Now I'm standing outside the window in the freezing cold begging him with my eyes to let me in.
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