SO after reading this hilarious article in The Rolling Stone

about evangelicals and modern Christians, I've come to the conclusion that God is definitely not real.

God is a symbol. I experienced close to the same thing as these "born-again" Christians; cleansing their souls and being reborn into a new person. I do it all the time when I'm sick of myself and want to start fresh. God's "miracle" can be achieved by anybody. All you need is the will to change for the better or whatever your motivation is.

I guess some people just need a theology to believe in before they can achieve the feeling.

I'm also not going to vote for McCain, ever, after reading this article.

hahahahaha :)

Free yourself of doubt and danger

Amen to the Spice Girls for their amazing lyrics.

I'm in the midst of rushing to finish reading Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and eating some multi-grain crackers. I'm currently hearing M.I. A.'s single "Paper Planes". I'm still tired form GSA's 20th Anniversary Gala and all the "work" I had to do today instead of hanging out with my amazing boyfriend who I can't stop thinking about. He makes me so happy and I don't want to think about the end.

This coming weekend I will be in NYC with GSA on the annual trip. Then when I get back I'll celebrate one month with Abe. Then my last Spring Concert will commence and I'll bawl my eyes out at GSA Graduation the next week. Just barely feel sorrow at Kellam's graduation the week after and then be set free into summer till I move to Richmond.

Life seems so grand at this moment in my life. I'm the happiest yet.

I'm overwhlemed.

I need a break. Badly.

I need money. I have so many fees to pay for for VCU and it's driving me crazy because I don't have extra money right now and I need to pay them ASAP. I need all my money for gas to drive to and from school, GSA, and work. My mom has no extra money. I was going to go on the annual GSA NYC Trip on the 23rd but now i don't know how to come up with $360 by the 12th so I threw away $200 with the first nonrefundable deposit back in April. Awesome. I hate money. MY parents again have caused this financial struggle that has made me suffer directly.

I'm trying to decide whether i should stay a dance major. Honestly what am i going to do with a BFA in Dance & Choreography? I asked my Jr Co choreographer Melanie Ortt how hard it was to get a job with her Dance degree and she told me pretty much that it's not easy or the rich life. I'll have to make this decision later after I've gotten to VCU but i don't want to waste my time or money.

I'm super exhausted with school & work plus all the rehearsals for the performances coming up in the next two months. I have Ocean Breeze training this weekend and I've been sick and so now I'm worrying about having enough energy to withstand all the swimming.

I'm thinking of starting this photography project where you take a self-portrait everyday for a year or 365 days. Sounds cool. Could be a new hobby.

P.S. i have a new boyfriend. Just keeping it fun for now. But he's definitely pretty awesome. He won't hurt me thats for sure. I'll probably be dating him til I go to VCU.. he says he'll visit but honestly I see myself breaking up with him either before or soon after I leave. I'm going to hate long distance and meet new people or be too busy etc to keep up with the logn distance shit so yeah.. i'm such a heart breaker.

Watch out

I'm throwing out all my Teen Vogues and quickly replacing them with The Rolling Stones which mysteriously started showing up in the mail for my older brother.


I feel this the beginning of some new change. I like to read the newspaper a lot.


I rarely watch tv anymore, and I've come to realize that I will probably not watch tv in college.

whim

i miss the summer air
i miss knowing you were there
never tossing in the night
blue skies forever in sight

playgrounds and sidewalks
street chalk and bike ride talks
sitting on fresh green grass
sleeping in, no class

august nights turn to fall
concrete cold as metal
wrapped up tight
but i still swing till flight

warm crossings so trite
holding on with all the might
swerved the other way
but eyes have gone astray