Recently VDOT is trying to "crack down" on speed violaters

a.k.a. people like me who go 70mph on the 55 mph highways.

I tried to take a picture with my camera phone but I was hard to get a close enough picture.

They now are putting messages on the signs like "OBEY SPEED LIMITS". I really think a more subliminal message would work better than that. We have been speeding for so long that I don't think it's going to change because of a few little signs that could, instead, be telling us if there was an accident ahead.

Photo Update

I built a gingerbread house with TJ last night.
Today I went to Sandbridge Beach and took photos with Lauren.

I know I've been down in the dumps lately

but it's not like I want to be..

I've gotten on "solid" ground with my manager at work.. but i'm still looking for something else.

I want to get my mom a massage gift certificate for Christmas so that's about $65 I need to make happen. I get paid this friday plus I'm babysitting now which is good.

I just got slammed with english homework as soon as I'm trying to hangout with people. Codie has a new boyfriend and is being lame about it like usual.

Of course my mom cleaned the teeth of the mother of one of my old "bestfriends" and she lost like over 100 lbs. Well the biggest shocker was that her daughter was sent to live with her dad in Richmond because she couldn't handle her promiscuousness and she ended up getting pregnant and got an abortion. However this did not stop her from continuing this slutty streak. Now really.. I am starting to see a trend in all my biggest ex-"bestfriends". It's kinda of creepy and weird.

December 4, 2007

I'm honestly unhappy with my life. I don't like school because of the people. I guess I'm weird and actually want to learn something. I've never been good at socializing. When I was younger and struggled to maintain friends, I told myself it would get better. I wanted to be Miss Popular in middle school or high school. Of course, I was always the loner. Especially when my parents decided to move us ion the middle of elementary school for something that wouldn't really affect us for years to come (SOLs). I was scared that I wouldn't make friends, which I really didn't because everyone had their cliques since kindergarten. So a fresh start mind set was wasted. Same thing in middle school. It was a little better in high school but I still felt like an outsider. If I had a close friend they were never in any of my classes and of course hanging out was hard because of Governor's School.
I've never really had the same mindset as most Kellam kids or high schoolers in general. I don't have a lot of money so i don't make myself up or wear the most fashionable clothes like everyone else. People immediately judge upon first appearances and impressions and since I don't look like them or think like them they ignore me. Half of the time I get nasty looks from people who I don't even know and they don't know me, but since we share the same class they think they know me. Now it's my senior year and I was told to vote for senior superlatives and I honestly didn't know 90% of the people on the lists to choose nominees from. While everyone else is thinking about after-school activities, going tanning, highlighting their hair, getting ready for prom, shopping, getting high, getting trashed, buying a new car, going to Europe after graduation..
I'm thinking of how to get a job, how to pay for the gas in my car, trying to get a scholarship, what the hell I am going to do after I graduate and how I will ever pay for it?.. I'm worried about if my life will ever be something I actually want and if I will be happy.. I'm tired of struggling financially. I'm tired of being pushed aside by friends. I'm tired of being overlooked and ignored in all aspects of my life. I'm tired of not beign good enough.
I don't like that my family isn't a warm, loving, connected group of people with a mom & dad still married. I don't like that my mom can barely make her monthly bill payments because my dad screwed us over and he is unemployed living off his senile mother in a different state. I don't like that because of that I will most likely not be able to pay for college.. which makes me feel like I have no chance of having a career or making a decent living ever. I feel like my life is black hole that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I just feel so alone and invisible and helpless and I'm just not sure what to do anymore..

Giving Back and Staying Broke

I worked at the portrait studio for the first time in a week. I finally talked to my manager and she told me they have me on a floating schedule. I'm not exactly thrilled at this; I need a schedule, it's the way my life works. Needless to say I am looking for a second job..

I babysat today for the first time in quite a few years. I went straight from work to babysitting. I did meet this lady online on a babysitting website and she is absolutely normal, even a little cool. I made $25.

I went to Wal-Mart tonight to buy much needed chapstick and my Angel Tree gift. I bought this little blue dress and a t-shirt and yoga pant set. I spent around $22.

So I earned money and then I gave back.
How gratifying it is to be broke..
:)


On a different note, I got a free ticket to see a show at the NorVa friday and I am really glad I didn't have to pay for it. Brand New was the headliner and they have always been one of my top favorite bands. I actually had tickets to see them about 4 years ago but never got the chance. I now wish I had seen them then instead of now because I enjoy their older music more than their newer stuff. They played one old song and the rest was new songs.

Anyways, the other bands playing were MeWithoutYou, who were kinda blah, and Thrice, who I've seen 2 times before when I was more into them a couple years ago but could really care less for now. The worst thing about the show was that during Thrice, the set change between, and Brand New I was squished from all sides thanks to the retards pushing at the back of the crowd. I was in the second row of people from the front barricade.

I was so pissed off at the people and the security guards for their lack of help or acknowledgment of the problem that I didn't enjoy the music at all. I e-mailed the NorVa with my complaint concluding the fact that I am seriously thinking of never coming there again, because I've never had to tolerate that shit. It's really sad that they don't care about the safety of their guests, especially when they could definitely get sued for someone passing out from their lungs being collapsed.